and you do too. Probably. I’m *finally* starting to embrace this fact of life, but why is it so hard to admit I need help? And why is it even harder to ask for it?
I don’t think I’m alone in this. Asking for and accepting help doesn’t come naturally to very many people I know (even though most of the people I know would help someone else in a heartbeat). We may have a variety of reasons for why we don’t, but what it really comes down to, for me, is pride. Admitting I need help is an admission that I lack the ability to do something, and, really, who enjoys acknowledging everything they CAN’T do?
At the risk of sounding arrogant, let me tell you about me. In high school and college, I was a “get stuff done” kid. Teach me or tell me what to do, and I’ll do it. School was easy for me. I was president of several groups, and an active participant of several more. I succeeded at almost everything I tried. In my mind, there wasn’t anything I couldn’t do (although reflecting as an adult, I know that really I just avoided those things that I wasn’t great at).
So, starting my adult life, I wasn’t used to needing other people.
But we were created to need other people. That’s why God made Eve for Adam. We’re supposed to live in community and in relationships with each other, and guess what. That even means relying on each other for help and *gasp* specifically asking for it. And this, friends, is where I’m at today. This humbled place of recognizing that I need help to do ministry and life the best that I can.
For me, the key is finding people that you respect and trust, who give a sense that they care about you. When you find the right people, asking for help becomes a little easier. There are some obvious ones that everyone kind of has built in, to some degree. Being a Christian, I turn to God for the assist on the regular, although even there pride gets in the way.
I have a family that loves me fiercely, and always has.
I have a best friend that would do just about anything for anyone.
And then there are some that aren’t quite as obvious, and also require a little bit more courage and humility to find. A professional mentor, for example. I’m lucky enough to have one of those, and it’s a conversation I had with her over the weekend that really prompted this string of thought about needing other people.
So, I’m not asking you to think about whether or not you need help doing your thing. With a little humble self reflection, I think we both know the answer to that. My question is WHO do you have or WHO can you bring into your life to be those people for you?